tonight tonight
Posted on January 9, 2012 with 1 commentI'm kinda nervous.
I get nervous a lot before playing. I get a little shaky, my stomach retches, my eyes glaze over. Kind of like that dream where you're on stage naked in front of a lot people and you have forgotten your lines to whatever version of Hamlet you are in, and your third AND 8th grade English teachers are sitting next to your parents in the first row. No, not KIND of like that. EXACTLY like that.
Playing original music is really fun. And really hard. (not to diminish the talents needed to play covers, but there is less internal strife and anxiety playing songs people know already) There is the "the is my favorite line ever in a song I hope I don't mumble/mess it up/forget it" issue. There is the "this song is exceedingly personal and I hope that people don't hate it" issue. There is the "omg there she is and I really hope she knows/doesn't know this song is about her" issue (depending on the song of course). There is "how many was that? 3? 4? do I want another beer? can I squeeze in one more song? what do you mean I still have ten minutes?" and the list goes on.
I guess that means I mean it. That's a weird way to put it, I know, but it means that I like it, it means I want to do a good job, it means that I have emotions and stories to tell you, the audience.
I heard an interview with John Mayer once where he said that when he plays certain songs he can kind of shut off his brain and think about shelving while he plays. I hope that I never get to that point. I think that's rude to do to an audience. I hope that my nervousness continues and that I get sick and tense and shakey and that my emotions and stories will entertain and effect people for the rest of my life.
starting tonight. 8:45pm TT The Bear's Place in Central Square, Cambridge, MA.